We Three
by Shadow of the Forgotten Ones
Summary: A collection of stories/drabbles contains Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, and Steve Rogers. Most will be fluffy but some may end up serious. I take prompts!
1. How is this my life?

**AN: Was given : War Stories. I totally picture Sam and Bucky trying to one-up each other with tales of thrilling heroics and Steve is all "I punched out Adolph Hitler over 800 times"**

 **I'm not too good with war stories lol so this has some war stories but is mainly Sam bonding with Bucky. Sorry!**

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There are times when Sam isn't sure how this is his life. Like when he wakes up at three A.M Riley's name on his lips and stumbles into his kitchen only to come face to face with a bleeding Black Widow- when she's bleeding and fresh from a mission she's Black Widow, not Natasha, he learned that the hard way one night- she claims that Bruce acts like a worried mother when she does and she can't deal with it. He not sure how he acts any better. Then there are the times when he's just pulling out a pan of lasagna- any food really- and he turns around to see Captain America- bruises already healing and what could be dried blood on his suit- looking at him like an eager puppy. He regrets giving those two a key to his home with an open door policy, not really but he likes to pretend he does. But, as he stands in the doorway leading to his kitchen he thinks; this time, tops all the other times and he wonders how the hell this is his life? Steve is digging around his freezer and t _he Winter mother fucking Soldier_ is _sitting_ on his kitchen table bleeding on his flooring. He isn't sure where Natasha is but he doesn't doubt that she's somewhere.

"You'll love Sam, Buck. He's real swell," Steve says pulling his head out of the freezer. The worried grin the super soldier is wearing slips off and he looks sheepish. The Winter Soldier leaps up from his spot, grimacing and gripping his stomach. Sam's eyes narrow.

" _You_ sit down, right this second," he says pointing at one of his chairs before turning to Steve, "Steve is he bleeding or bruised? And please tell me you are not using my good peas for whatever is going on."

Later, he'd be proud of how Bucky immediately sat down and Steve shoved the bag of peas back into the freezer. Really how was this his life?

Three weeks later he doesn't even make it out of bed, he's crying into his pillow as the nightmare teases the edge of his memory. He can't tell what's worse, that he's still having them or that they've gained new people. Before it was just Riley now Steve, Natasha, and even Bucky make appearances in them. The scent of smoke tickling his nose and he swears he can hear the echo of gunfire, and feel the heat of the displaced air. He hears his door open and the heavy, uneven gait of Bucky, then the bed dips and he's pulled awkwardly into Bucky's arms. Bucky is a natural comforter and even though his memory is spotty at best he can't stand to hear people cry when he's having his good days.

"Did... Stevie ever... tell you the story about the time we took down a Hydra base that was under a brothel?"

Sam shakes his head and listens as Bucky slowly begins to tell the tale. One would think that the brothel would have been empty but it wasn't so the Commando's had to evacuate the girls before going in. Sam laughs.

"You're shitting me. No way."

"I swear it's the truth. Ain't it Stevie?"

Sam looks up and spots Steve leaning on his door jamb.

"It's the truth. They just thought they were some rogue Nazi's and didn't care too much so long as they didn't scare away the customers. One of the dames even gave Gabe a kiss as thanks," there is a soft tone to Steve's voice as he walks over to the bed and sits on the edge. Sam laughs softly and shakes his head.

"Oh man that's great," he says before launching into a tale of his own. Bucky and he exchange many stories, trying to one-up each other. Some of the one's Bucky tells aren't just stories of WWII but some of the few missions that don't cause Bucky to withdraw into himself. Steve listens to them all, piping in when he was around to know what Bucky is talking about.

"I have all of you beat," he says smugly during a lull in the conversation.

"Oh?"

"I've punched Hitler."

Sam laughs loudly and Bucky chuckles. Nightmares forgotten, Sam relaxes against someone that could easily snap him in half.

"Is it wrong that I'm glad you guys like my place more than you do Stark's? Cause I am," he mutters fighting a yawn. He loses the fight, of course, the yawn is so large that his jaw pops. Both the other people in his room laugh and he tiredly flips them off.

"Go to sleep Sam. We'll be here in the morning."

Sam lets out a sleepy mumble, gently fists Bucky's shirt as he falls back to sleep.


	2. Coffee Shop AU prt 1

**AN: While not exactly what was asked for this is the start of a prompt for a Winter Falcon fic. It's a Coffee Shop AU in which Sam starts to visit the Iced Americano Cafe. Later on, he and Bucky get into a fight over who a seat belongs to. It was supposed to be a Coffee Shop AU where Sam refuses to move his seat for Bucky but this spawned instead.**

* * *

There are some things people just don't get over. The loss of a friend and lover on a daring and experimental mission is one of those things. Though Sam likes to think that he is adjusting rather well. He may not be in the army anymore but he works for the DVA as a counselor, he has a nice and neat routine that keeps him from falling into a pit of despair and he has friends contrary to what his own counselor thinks. It doesn't matter that most of those friends are the animal kind, he has human friends too. Sorta. Okay so he may be lacking in the friend department outside of the veterans he helps but he's content.

"You're in a rut. You've put yourself in a routine that keeps you from connecting with others," his counselor, Maria Hill, tells him when he brings it up. Her brown hair is up in a bun- instead of making her look nerdy it makes her look dangerous and the glint in her eyes doesn't help. She looks at him until he looks away with a shrug. He wants to argue but he knows that will only dig him into a deeper hole.

"How about this; you try something new. Something small if you want. Your normal routine is to go to that little gyro place on the corner right? Where you order the Thursday special? Maybe today you can go somewhere new or if you can't do that try something new from the shop. Think you can do that? Just add in something small, change it up."

"Yeah sure," he agrees readily. He can do that. That will be easy. Maria gives him a soft smile and nods.

"Okay."

They talk for a little bit longer, moving away from his schedule and onto other issues. Like his repeating dreams- memories- of _that_ night. He likes Maria, she's hard on him but she doesn't make him feel broken or like he's glass. When it comes time to say goodbye he does so with a smile and wonders if he can say that Maria is a friend.

He stands outside of the building and bites his bottom lip. Natchios Gyro, his normal lunch time destination is right there. He could go in and order something other than his normal beef gyro with the house special sauce. He's heard that the chicken gyro is also rather swell and it'd be the small change that Maria is hoping to hear about on Monday but... But he wants to do more than just change up what he eats. He's ten minutes behind schedule and he can feel something inside him start to twitch. There's a loud noise, a backfiring car, but for a moment it sounds like more and he ducks into the building the right of the building he just left. The smell of coffee smacks him in the face, not enough to ground him completely but enough to where he doesn't jump ten feet in the air when a cheery female voice rings out. It has what he assumes to be a British accent but he's never been too good at placing voices.

"Welcome to the _Iced Americano!_ "

He smiles shakily and walks up to the counter. His heart is still pounding and his hands are shaking but he's steady enough to know the present from the past and he can see a lunch special from where he is standing. The woman behind the counter has curly brown hair and a stance that reminds him of Maria when she's dealing with her boss. The coffee shop has a few people dotting the booths and tables and a sign with a well drawn Statue of Liberty proclaims that veterans get a discount and the Wi-Fi passcode for this week is "Galaga".

"Hi... Do you have any recommendations?" Sam asks taking in the long list of coffees both iced and not along with the decent sized list of food. The woman, Peggy according to her name tag, hums looking at him as if she's sizing him up.

"For you; the classic iced americano and a french dip. And maybe if you like sweet things you should try one of our sweet rolls."

Sam smiles and chuckles a bit.

"I do have a sweet tooth. Alright, I will have a medium- or venti or whatever you call them- ice americano with a french dip and a sweet roll."

He pulls out his wallet, his money his tucked away behind his military ID. It's a quirk he picked up from Riley who never liked to put his money in the fold where it normally went. _Too easy for someone to grab your wallet and take your money. This way they have to dig it out._

"You're in the military?" Peggy asks. Sam nods.

"Was. I was a pararescuer."

He watches as she presses a few buttons and the total he owes goes down to seven dollars and seventy cents.

"You don't have to do that."

"Don't have to but I am," she says accepting the ten dollar bill Sam hands her and gives him back two dollars and thirty cents. Then she goes to the glass case and grabs a pastry which she gives to him.

"What name would you like called out when your food and coffee is done?"

"Sam."

She writes that down.

"Steve, we got an order for a french dip! Get your skinny butt in the kitchen," she calls out.

"Yes ma'am!" is shouted back and Sam laughs out loud. This change isn't too bad. He finds a nice little booth that allows him to see the door and keep his back protected. The seats on the booth are soft and now that he's calmed he can enjoy the smooth jazz that is playing. He leans back in the seat and enjoys the sunlight coming through the window. As he waits he looks at the other people in the small cafe. At one of the actual tables, there are two males sitting hunched over an Ipad the one with short hair is waving one of his arms around. The other one is shaking his head at whatever is being said. In a booth toward the front, there is a couple- or maybe just good friends- the woman is leaning against the man reading a book while the taps away at the laptop. Then there is the group of teenagers that takes up the big table in the middle, they are leaning on each other and it's hard to tell where one starts and another begins.

"Sam!"

For something done at the drop of a hat, it doesn't turn out too bad. The coffee is wonderful, not too bitter and not too sweet. And the food... he's not afraid to admit he made some loud sounds after taking a bite. When he's finished he waves goodbye to Peggy and she waves back. After lunch, he normally returns home to change into jogging gear and the thought of changing more than what he already has nearly sends him into a tailspin. Maybe Maria is right and his routine isn't the best coping method but he doubts it's something he can just up and change on a whim so he goes home and jogs around the block. It's nice and calming, his mind empties of all thoughts. After jogging he does any work he had to bring home from work- not that he ever has too much, normally self-assigned things like looking up alternate ways of dealing with PTSD or OCD or any other thing that may plague the ones he's trying to help- and then he watches TV until it's dinner time. He has a cat- one he picked up from a gutter- that will occasionally jump in his lap and demand attention. He also has some birds that he takes care of that he will play with and love in between commercial breaks or whenever they announce they want love. He falls asleep on his couch, Nisos the cat curled up on his lap purring away. He doesn't dream that night and wakes up for the first time in a long time not feeling as if his whole world was just blown up in front of his face.


	3. Coffee & Scars

**AN: Friend gave me the prompt: The three of them having coffee exchanging injury stories**

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The inside of Sam's small home has come to be a place of recuperation for Bucky and Steve. Tony means well with all his exuberance and extravagance but sometimes it got to be too much for the out of time soldiers. The smell of coffee saturates the air, soaking them in its pleasant scent. Bucky and Steve are at the table, leaning into each other, the bags under their eyes dark. For three weeks in a roll the villains of the world have decided that they want to come out to play, so neither of them have had much sleep. Sam isn't doing much better but he is standing in front of the pot so he can enjoy the scent better. Steve is on the cusp of falling asleep when he notices the thin scar on Sam's lower leg.

"How did you get that?" he asks, not really expecting an answer. Sam looks down and laughs.

"Not in war if that's what you think. It's kinda embarrassing actually."

Bucky who had until that point been snoring softly perks up.

"Well now you have to tell us," he mutters rubbing the heel of his hand against his eyes. Sam rolls his eyes.

"I do?"

"Yes. Tell him punk."

"You do," Steve says in a solemn sorta way, the ominous tone ruined by the smirk stretching across his face.

The coffee pot gurgles loudly signaling that it is done brewing and Sam goes to grab three cups. The fact he can make their coffees to taste a testament to how often the three of them met like this.

"Well, I was ten I think. Was riding my bike, there was a pretty older girl washing her car," he trails off and lifts his eyebrow expecting them to understand what he's saying.

"That would explain a scar on like your arm, not your leg," Steve points out happily taking the cup handed to him.

"I wasn't the only one riding the sidewalks that day."

Bucky laughs, his cup on the table to keep from emptying it on himself.

"Oh that's a good one," he says after the small laughing fit is done. He rolls up the sleeve on the side of flesh arm and points to a very scar on his forearm.

"I think I got this one saving Stevie," he says staring at the thin but jagged line. The other two are silent. Bucky is slowly remembering things about his past; some good, some not so good. He looks up at them.

"It has to be from my time before the ice cause my healing makes it to where I don't scar. If the memory is right… I got this one a year before I went overseas. This little punk here," he pauses to wrap Steve in a gentle headlock, "Wanted to protect a dame's honor from so frisky men. They were in an alleyway and one of them had broken a bottle before I got there."

"I remember that. Almost scared me into an asthma attack cause you were bleeding so bad," Steve whispers running his fingers over the cut. He shakes his head.

"You were always saving me."

"Best friends 'til the end of the line, Rogers. Goes for you too, Wilson."

Steve is released from the hold, Bucky's metal hand ruffling his hair. Sam places a hand on his chest dramatically.

"I didn't know you cared so much!"

Bucky shakes his head and picks up his cup.

"What about you, punk? Wanna share anything with the class."

The blond hero hums softly, sipping at his coffee.

"Thanks to you I don't have too many scars… Wait," he shifts around and pulls up his shirt. There a little to the left of the middle of his stomach is a scar smaller than a pinkie finger.

"I bruised easily before the serum and while I got into fights not too many of those cuts scarred. This one did."

"What is that?"

"I landed too hard on a dummy grenade."

Glass cracks, Steve and Sam turn to look at Bucky. He is giving Steve a dark look.

"It wasn't the grenade that scarred me, though. It was the rocks," Steve admits sheepishly.

"Why were you jumping on grenades?"

Sam grins devilishly.

"You mean you never heard the story of how Steve jumped on it to impress Peggy?"

"It wasn't to impress Peggy and how do you know the story?"

The up in Bucky's hand cracks more.

"Someone tell me," he barks.

"Tony told me and Peggy told him. So Steve here has been selected by Erskine to be a soldier. His superiors don't like him, his fellow soldiers don't like him. The Colonel dude is yelling at Erskine because of Steve and then the Colonel throws the dummy grenade and everyone but Steve scatters," Sam says, "Now remember this was told to me second hand. So Steve care to tell us what really happened?"

"Well, I didn't know they were fighting over me, but he did throw a grenade and I did jump on top of it… And not to impress Peggy but to keep everyone safe."

Bucky places his cup down with a loud clunk and tackles Steve out of his chair. The two roll around on the ground like a pair of children.

"What happened to not doing anything stupid while I was gone?" Bucky demands. Sam has his cup close to his chest and is videotaping it.

"Come on Buck it turned out okay."

"What if it hadn't been a dummy? What then!?"

"I didn't think that far."

"How far did you think ahead when you crashed the plane into the ice?"

"Shut up Sam!"

"Steven Grant Rogers!"

"Hey no using the middle name!"


	4. Getalongshirt

**AN: When two of your friends are wearing a Get Along Shirt what else are you supposed to do but take pictures of it. This, of course, starts a chain of reactions.**

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In some darker, fouler, unhappy universes the Avengers did not survive. They imploded before exploding like a giant chemical fireball of destruction. In this one, however, they connect, they survive and become a family. And like any family they have their issues and their self-proclaimed father- Coulson- has his way of dealing with misbehaving children. There are time-outs and groundings, enforced by JARVIS and Pepper and in extreme cases the Get Along Shirt. The Get Along Shirt is a large white shirt big enough to fit two adult males in it, painted on the front of the shirt in Coulson's neat print is Get Along Shirt while the back reads Stuck Together Until The End.

Steve stares at Sam and Bucky, covering his mouth to attempt to smother his laughter. Bucky raises his metal arm and flips him off, resolutely looking everywhere but at Sam. Sam is slouching which is pulling on the great big white shirt that the two of them are stuck in. Steve uncovers his mouth and smiles.

"What did you two do?"

After Loki and Thor, Sam and Bucky use the Get Along Shirt the most. Bucky looks up at Steve with wide eyes- an innocent look that would work better is Steve didn't know Bucky- and Sam slouches further down. Both the picture of childhood petulance.

" _I_ didn't do anything. It was birdbrain here," Bucky says.

"Fuck you, Barnes. You were the one who wouldn't take no for an answer."

Phil chooses that moment to enter the front room- Skye trailing after him like a puppy- and Steve looks to him for the truth.

"Sam was sitting at the table, chair pushed out enough that Bucky couldn't get passed him. Bucky asks Sam to scoot in, Sam said no, so Bucky made him," Phil explains shaking his head, "This, of course, makes Sam wait until Bucky is right behind before scooting his chair back out."

"Which caused a fight," Steve guess biting his lip.

"Which caused a fight," affirms Phil. Steve waits until Phil has left the room, heading into the kitchen, before pulling out his phone. The two in the Get Along shirt see the phone and their faces contort in anger.

"Don't you dare!" Sam shouts at the same time as Bucky. There is a flash and Steve starts to laugh.

"Too late!"

"Better think about what you are doing punk," Bucky warns watching as Steve messes around with his phone. The blond isn't the best with most modern technology but even a monkey can post a picture on Facebook. A burst of laughter explodes from the kitchen and Steve gets two sets of death glares leveled at him.

"What did you do?"

Steve holds out his phone. It's opened to the Instagram app and the picture of them is there with the caption:

 _ **(a)CapnCrunch56** (a)_ _FreeAsABird25 and (a)BuckStopsHere42 are in time out again. When will they learn? #getalongshirt #introubleagain_

 **(a)ClearBlueSkyes** As soon as (a)DropTheHammer and (a)KneelPeasants learn I imagine!

 **(a)** **PhilsLikeAParent** No teasing those in the Get Along shirt!

Before their eyes, more and more notifications appear on the picture. People from their fellow Avengers to fans to even _Deadpool_ commenting on it. Sam and Bucky exchange glances, mentally speaking and plotting the best course of action. As one they stand up.

"Better run," they chime. Steve laughs and takes off running. Natasha is in the hallway and takes a picture of the three of them as they run by her. She shakes her head, fingers quickly flying over the keyboard of her phone.

 **(a)** _ **HereComesASpider**_ _(a)_ _CapnCrunch56,_ _(a)_ _FreeAsABird25 and BuckStopsHere42 make living in the tower like living with oversized children. Sure, would be a shame if someone tripped._ _(a)_ _HiddenBirdCrouchingArcher #whydoIputupwiththem #theyareallchildren_

 **(a)** **HiddenBirdCrouchingArcher** It sure would ;)

 **(a)** **PhilsLikeAParent** Don't you dare! Clint, I will lock up your bows!

 **(a)** **HiddenBirdCrouchingArcher** Oops. May be too late dad, the little brothers are down.

 **(a)** **HiddenBirdCrouchingArcher** Don't take my bows! Vera is very special to me!

The picture of Steve, Bucky and Sam all in a pile gets more hearts and comments than the original picture. Natasha blames it on the fact it looks like Bucky is humping Steve and Sam is humping him. However, it is a picture of Phil scolding the five Instagramming Avengers with the hashtag: Dontpissoffdad that is the most popular of the ones taken that night. Needless to say, there is never a dull moment in the Avengers Tower.

* * *

 **AN: I take prompts**


	5. Drunken Fun

**AN: This has many implied/hinted pairings along with Sam/Steve/Bucky actual pairing.**

* * *

Tony looks around at the group of people gathered in the communal living room of his Tower and grins. Today is game night and it's his turn to choose what they should play. Not only are all of the Avengers here but so is Agent- back from the dead and away from his baby squad- along with Darcy and Jane and is that Agent 2 he spies? Yes, it is! He cackles with glee and Bruce who is standing beside him looks at him in concern. Pepper steps out from behind Agent 2 and he grins wider when her eyes widen.

"Tony-" she begins.

"Nope! It's my turn to choose and since there are so many of us, I say we should play a drinking game!"

Darcy lets out a happy whoop and heads towards his bar.

"We are going to need a lot! Thor here needs to drink a lot to get buzzed," she calls. Tony heads over to help her.

"Not to mention the two old timers and Brucie. Hey Pepper, maybe we can empty this out and you will get your wish," he says with a wink.

"I doubt we will drink that much Tony. What drinking game are we going to play?"

Pepper's shoulders are slumped in defeat as she covers her face with her hands.

"Never have I ever!"

With minimal fuss, everyone gets settled into the dining room. As Tony glances around the large round table, he had specially built for get-togethers he feels his chest puff up. It was a damn good idea. Each one of them have a bottle of liqueur in front of them. He cracks his knuckles.

"Alright, who wants to go first? And does everybody know how to play?" he asks the group at large.

"I do not know how to play," Thor speaks up, head tilted.

"I will go first," Natasha says with a shark-like grin, "To play you simply say something like; never have I ever eaten a man's dick before. And if you have done so drink."

She twists off the cap of her chosen drink and pours a shot which she then throws back.

"Wait, so eat a dick like a blow job or-" Darcy asks looking at Natasha with awe-filled eyes.

"Literally eaten a dick. Or at least bitten one off," the spy clarifies and Maria throws back a shot herself.

"Are we going clockwise or counterclockwise?" Natasha asks with a grin.

"Clockwise of course. Counterclockwise is confusing and best for other games like Uno," Tony says decisively before looking around to see if there were any disagreements. There are none and he looks at Phil expectantly.

"Never have I ever lost a bet with Nick Fury," Phil states almost boredly. Steve drinks to that as does Maria and Clint.

"Really?"

"It's your damn fault, Coulson," she mutters and looks away. Clint claps his hand drawing attention back to him.

"Never have I ever tried to lift Thor's hammer, when he wasn't around."

Everyone but Thor takes a drink. Thor laughs heartily, blue eyes twinkling.

"Were any of you able to pick it up?"

He is greeted with glares and he laughs louder.

"Oh hush Point Break. Okay, so never have I ever gone on a panty raid."

Tony raises an eyebrow when Natasha throws one back with Clint.

"I've done it twice since I've moved in here at least," she says with a smirk. Bruce chuckles.

"I guess it's my turn," the scientist says twisting his shot glass around, "Never have I ever drawn a dick on someone's face while they were asleep."

One by one: Natasha, Phil, Clint, Tony, Sam, Darcy and Maria takes a shot. Bucky and Steve shake their heads and look at Sam who shrugs.

"I'm gonna go easy, never have I ever cried during a movie."

Everyone but Tony takes a shot.

"Lion King, Tony. You cried like a baby. Then there is-"

Tony quickly takes a shot. Bucky laughs and leans against Steve and then straightens back up and twists in his seat.

"Never have I ever named my genitals 'the Cyclone'," Bucky says with a laugh. He pauses for a moment, his eyes latched onto Steve's before he throws back a shot. Everyone around him snickers but no one else drinks. Steve raises an eyebrow at him, their shoulders are touching and really they are sitting far too close to play this game without sloshing each other should they have any liquid in their shot glasses. Sam is on Bucky's other side watching them curiously, he too is leaning into Bucky making it dangerous for drinks.

"Never have I ever tried to imply I was the top by making a joke about the Cyclone in front of others," he says smiling. Bucky grumbles slightly, throwing back a second shot. The others stare at them until Darcy clears her throat.

"Never have I ever accidentally gave someone food poisoning."

Natasha tilts her head.

"Accidentally, no. Intentionally?"

"Then it doesn't count. You can say intentionally on your turn," Darcy clarifies before taking a shot. She's not alone, Jane and Clint throw one back as well. Jane places her glass on the table and hums.

"Never have I ever done a craft project from Pinterest."

She's looking straight at Thor so she nearly misses Maria and Tony throw one back in time with the god. Sam clears his throat and gives Bucky a look that has him sighing and taking a shot.

"Never have I ever knocked down an entire building," the god calls out pouring a shot and drinking it. Bruce takes one as well looking sheepish.

"Should I take another one for the Hulk?" he asks, attempting levity though his voice strains slightly.

"Sure Big Guy, knock back another one," Tony cheers.

"Tony," Pepper scolds, her lips pinched and eyes narrowed. Bruce just laughs and throws back another drink. Maria sniffs and looks at Phil.

"Never have I ever faked my own death or been presumed dead."

Phil rolls his eyes and takes a shot as does Tony, Bruce, Steve, and Bucky. Natasha hums softly.

"Never have I ever… tried on Nick Fury's eyepatch," she says. No one is surprised when the other agents take a shot but the quirk a brow when Darcy does.

"Hey, it looks cool. Sides I didn't know it was his until Red told me," she grumbles defensively. Jane pats her head and Phil gets an evil look in his eyes.

"Never have I ever thought about having sex with Captain America."

Steve watches as everyone takes a shot but him. His face heats up and he ducks his head.

"All of you? Even you Tony?"

"You're nice to look at. I've found better of course," Tony states with a wink slinging an arm around Bruce.

"Ain't nothing better than Stevie," Bucky counters with a smile.

"Not even Birdbrain 2 over there?"

"Sam is just as swell as Stevie."

"Hey ladies, I think it's my turn," Clint buts in, "Never have I ever handcuffed myself while trying to handcuff someone else."

Maria takes a shot as does Clint. They look around the table and Steve sheepishly fills up his cup.

"The first time I did it," he admits before drinking. Tony chuckles.

"Only you Capsicle. Never have I ever… asked Natasha if she was PMSing."

"Tony! Bruce, smack him for me," Pepper sounds scandalized and those not taking shots stifle their laughter as Clint and Phil toast each other. Maria rolls her eyes at all of them and as Tony lets out a playful yelp takes a shot as well. Bruce's next never have I ever is rather tame.

"Never have I ever gotten a tattoo."

Darcy throws one back quickly and wiggles her eyebrows. Natasha and surprisingly Bruce throw one back as well.

"Betty," is all the scientist says on the matter but he has a fond smile on his lips.

"It's the chemical equation for sugar and it's on his inner thigh," Tony adds. They settle down and when no one else moves to down a shot Pepper speaks.

"Never have I ever redirected a nuclear missile."

Tony grimaces and takes a shot.

"Does it count if I had to hack into something to redirect it or does it have to be bodily?" Maria asks curiously.

"Either."

Phil and Maria both drink.

"Aw man. When did this happen?" Clint asks with a whine in his voice.

"Before we brought you in."

Sam rests his weight against Bucky. He's only had four shots but his boyfriend is a comforting weight at his back.

"Never have I ever touched Bucky's butt," he says adding a fifth shot to the amount he has taken. Steve, Natasha, Thor and Bruce all take one.

"When-"

"I'm his doctor. Just because he heals quickly doesn't mean I don't have to help it along and sometimes the only place to touch is the butt."

The two start to bicker playfully as Bucky thinks of his next one.

"Never have I ever thought about pressing my boobs against Iron Man's suit, just because," he says. Mostly to see Tony's reaction. Tony stops mid-word and looks over at Bucky, both eyebrows raised and a slight red hue to his cheeks. Darcy surprises them by taking a shot.

"What? I bet it's warm and sometimes the boobs need warmth."

Steve clears his throat to cover up a laugh.

"Never have I ever dyed my hair."

Sam, Darcy, Jane and the agents toss one back. Pepper raises a brow at Tony.

"Tony you had frosted tips."

"That doesn't count!"

"Yes, it does."

"Bruce! Traitor!"

"Take your shot."

While Tony takes his shot Darcy cracks her knuckles.

"Never have I ever violated international airspace."

Everyone but Jane and Darcy take a shot and they whistle.

"Not all Ops are sanctioned," Phil states with a shrug.

"Hmm. Never have I ever tried to seduce Nick Fury."

Darcy and Pepper take a shot. There is a stunned silence afterward.

"He laughed at me. But admired my guts for trying to get back our shit," Darcy says, "Well, my iPod. But the other stuff they hadn't given back would have been awesome."

"Thankfully for his own sake, he didn't laugh at me. Turned me down but didn't laugh. I wanted to make sure those I care for stayed safe," Pepper's shoulders pulled back daring anyone to say anything to her. Tony doesn't he just hugs her. Thor bites his lip and tries to think of a light hearted thing to say.

"Never have I ever tasered an… extra terrestrial."

It works and everyone laughs as Darcy takes another shot though they splutter in shock when Natasha takes one. She lifts a finger to her lips and winks.

"Never have I ever had sex with a married person" Maria puts out. No one is really surprised when Tony throws back a shot. Natasha follows as does Phil.

"Does it count if it's your own spouse?" Clint asks.

Maria nods and Clint takes one.

"You're married?"

"Yup. Second time now."

Before more questions can be asked Jarvis interrupts.

"Sir, the food you ordered earlier is here."

The food is brought into the dining room and split up amongst them. The smell of pizza, curry, and many other take-out foods mix together as plates are made. Once all that is done, Natasha lets a smile stretch on her face.

"Never have I ever _thought_ about asking Natasha if she was PMSing."

Tony chokes on a bite of food and Bruce smacks his back carefully. She watches as he lifts his shot glass and takes a shot, Bucky does as well.

"Not in a bad way but more like 'we need to go down to the mats so that you can work out your frustration at being surrounded by idiots' way," He explains when Natasha blinks at him. She smiles and it's small and sweet compared to her earlier one. It's Phil's go.

"Never have I ever been thrown into a dumpster."

Steve, Phil, and Bruce drink. Bucky stares into his glass trying to remember but ends up shaking his head.

"Never have I ever broken someone's arm," Clint says filling up his shot glass. Natasha takes a shot as does Maria and Phil. Darcy and Jane down one at the same time.

"Long story," Jane mutters. Darcy nods her head, though her face blanches and she goes back to eating.

"Never have I ever thought Natasha was fucking scary," Tony rasps though he is quick to add, "In a good way of course."

Everyone but Bucky takes a shot.

"She's my Tasha, she can't be scary."

"Thank you, Pasha. This is why you are my favorite male."

This, of course, makes Clint pout until Bruce says his never have I ever.

"Never have I ever given a speech while drunk."

Unsurprisingly Tony takes a shot and so does Phil. Maria laughs.

"Fury?"

"Fury," Phil agrees, "He is a good man but he drives me to drink sometimes. Thankfully I have a high level of tolerance and the newbies didn't realize."

"Never have I ever sent someone a dick pick," Pepper says when she is sure Phil is done talking. Tony raises an eyebrow.

"Does this count if you save a dick pick off the internet?" he asks before taking a shot.

"Of course," she says taking her own shot, "Though, you deserved each and every one those."

Sam shakes his head.

"My mama would have skinned me alive. Never have I ever driven stick."

Steve, Bucky, Tony and Bruce take a shot.

"Never have I ever flashed Tony," Bucky drawls stretching and putting his arms behind Sam and Steve. Pepper, Bruce, and Thor take a shot.

"Never have I ever kissed my best friend's mom while drunk."

"Oh come on, Stevie! That was an accident!" Bucky complains as he takes his shot. Jane coughs and takes a shot as well.

"Awkward," Darcy sings playfully, "Never have I ever thrown up on a subway."

"Does it have to be because we were drunk?" Sam asks curiously.

"No."

Tony takes a shot as does Sam. Clint grimaces and does so as well.

"That was a shit assignment."

"Never have I ever performed a scientific experiment on myself."

Pepper takes a deep breath at that and Jane winces slightly when Bruce and Tony both knock back shots. They shrug their shoulders at her.

"Never have I ever stopped for a… booty call," Thor looks at Darcy for confirmation that he said it right, "before saving the world?"

Tony throws back a drink quickly and Bruce, Phil, and Clint follow him. Jane clears her throat and Thor takes on as well.

"Well. If we are on the subject of sex. Never have I ever been tied up during sex," Maria makes eye contact with Pepper as she talks and raises an eyebrow. Bruce tosses another shot back as does Sam. Pepper shakes her head.

"Haven't had the pleasure. I've tied people up," Pepper says glancing over at Tony who takes a shot. Steve has his face buried in his hands.

"Never have I ever stolen one of Clint's bows," Natasha says once everyone has stopped laughing. Natasha, Phil, and Tony throw back a shot and grin at Clint's spluttering. Bucky takes one as well and shrugs.

"He said he was a better shot when we clearly tied."

Phil, practically laying in Clint's lap hums.

"Never have I ever met my dad," he says. Clint looks down at him and raises an eyebrow at the depressing topic. Natasha and Steve slam one back. Bucky brings Steve closer to him, pressing kisses to the side of his head.

"Well hell, if we're doing depressing shit, never have I ever been brainwashed. There, now let's get back to happy shit," Clint states taking a shot. Bucky takes one as well.

"Never have I ever impersonated a law enforcement officer," offers Tony looking around the table. Technically the spies were law enforcement officers so they didn't take a shot.

"Darce," Jane weedles, poking Darcy in the ribs. Darcy sniffed.

"I have no clue what you are talking about."

"You totally did that. I even have a picture of it."

Darcy flushes and elbows Jane.

"I did not."

"Did. Now take your shot."

While Darcy takes her shot Bruce speaks.

"Never have I ever kicked someone in the face."

Everyone but Jane takes a shot at that.

"I feel so left out," she jokes. Pepper laughs.

"Never have I ever jumped out of a cake topless."

"I no longer feel left out."

Jane, Pepper, Maria and Sam take a shot.

"It was a favor owed, don't ask," Sam says with a chuckle. He clears his throat.

"Never have slept with a fellow coworker."

Everyone takes a shot.

"Please tell me this is our last round," Pepper begs, putting down her glass. Tony nods his head.

"Yeah, this can be our last. Buck your turn."

"Never have I ever gone out without underwear on."

Bruce is the first one to throw back a shot followed by Tony, Bucky, and Darcy. Pepper and Steve follow shortly after.

"Never have I ever made a sex tape."

The others stare at Steve in shock. The blond soldier shrugs and gives a dimpled grin. Steve casually throws back a shot as does Bucky and Sam. Tony laughs as he takes his.

"Never have I ever had sex in public," Darcy chirps before taking a shot. Sam and Bucky take a shot, smiling sheepishly at Steve who raises his eyebrows at them. Tony follows them with Clint and Natasha toasting each other over Phil.

"The next time we play, we need to keep missions excluded," Jane says looking at the two spies, "Here's a fun one. Never have I ever had sex in Steve's bed."

Steve watches in shock as everyone throws back a shot except for him. He splutters in shock, looking at them in shock.

"How am I the only one who hasn't had sex in my own bed?!"

"I don't know Cap but it's a damn soft bed," Clint says with a wink. Tony leans over the table to pat Steve's hand.

"Don't worry buddy we'll get you laid eventually."

"I have been laid! I'm going out with Bucky and Sam, my private life is filled with it!"

Tony lets out a confused noise.

"But never in your own bed. Kinky."

"Shut up Tony."

Thor lets out a booming laugh.

"To continue this fun trend, never have I ever become aroused whilst in my 'super suit'," he says with a wink and drinks his shot. The other Avengers follow.

"Since I'm the last one I'll go silly," Maria says, "Never have I ever poked the Hulk. And I do mean Hulk, not Banner."

Tony tosses back a shot as does Clint and Thor.

"This was fun, we should definitely do this again," Tony says as he stands up. There is a slight sway to his stance. He helps up Bruce.

"Maybe once a month?"

"I'm totally down for that," Darcy exclaims, though her words are a bit muffled by the table. Slowly they group up and disperse into their rooms.

* * *

"Steve stop staring at the bed and get in."

"I almost want to burn it."

"Steve, we can make it yours tomorrow if we aren't dead from hangovers. I want some cuddles so get in here."

Steve laughs and crawls into the bed with his lovers.

"Fine. But I demand that I get a showing of what you two did while I wasn't here," he whispers playfully. Sam cuddles into Steve.

"A front row seat. Now hush. And Barnes you better join this cuddle."

"He's a bossy bird isn't he, Stevie."

"Very bossy."

"Less talking more cuddling."


End file.
